When you dont like the present.....

Live in the past !!!

Not been the best week but nothing too notible, good or bad.  Im on target for games for the month but not much profit to speak of unfortunately.  With that in mind and trying to ignore the terrible run of cards i'm getting and desperately not trying to regale another boring load of bad beat stories (too many too mention by the way) I got to thinking of times gone by.

I have just finished a book by Paul McGuire called "Lost Vegas"  The author basically details his exploits of his past as a full time poker reporter on the poker circuit, focusing mainly on the WSOP as well as other encounters along the way.  A good read if you are into that sort of thing and once i'd finished I began to think of some of the great experiences i've had in Vegas.

I was in Vegas for the 1st time for my 20th Birthday with fake ID in 1994 and since then have been to Vegas every year, sometimes upto 5 times a year depending on what else was going on in my life.  The last couple of years has only been one trip due to the newborn.

I remember --

Racking up charges at the Sahara on the in-room phone by mistake and having to spin my way out of trouble on the roulette wheel.
Being propositioned by a midget prostitute at 6am outside O'Sheas.
Sitting on somebody for almost an hour on a Virgin Flight into Vegas as he threatened to set himself on fire.
Losing 000's of $$$.
Spending 3 days in bed at the Imperial Palace, so sick I thought I was going to die.
Horseback riding in the mountains like John Wayne with my mother who almost never came back alive. (Wow that was so funny.  Looking back now I can laugh but I really thought she was a gonna)

I dont remember seeing the Grand Canyon.  In over 35 trips, I have never seen it.  I am not sure if that is sad or not.

And probably the most memorable (Tho not a highlight) I call,
My HANGOVER.

I was on a trip for two weeks in Vegas, around 2004 It think.  My Birthday was right in the middle and I was with non-poker playing friends for the first week, then they were going home and I would stay on and play some tournaments for the second week.
Needless to say after the first week I had played the table games with friends and got myself in a hole which I needed to dig myself out of during the second week.

My friends had two days left the day before my Birthday and they were encouraging a good night out.  Ever the professional, I declined as I had pencilled in some tournaments the following day.  Needless to say we were playing a cash game in the MGM as midnight was approaching and they convinced me that we should have a quick drink at least and suggested a bar toward the back of the MGM, TAO I believe it was called.  I agreed and headed over there with my friends promising to finish their table in the next 20 mnutes and meet me there.

I entered TAO alone, a smallish hip place with low tables and sofas around the perimeter and a couple of small dancefloors set amongst them.  I bought a bottle of Budweiser and scanned for some ladies.  Instead some guy introduced himself to me and began trying to sell me some real estate.  I declined hoping I did not look gay enough to be chatted up in my new shirt I had bought the day before.

I moved off towards the dancefloor and watched some guys doing Hip Hop who were pretty good to be fair, so when they moved away I decided to chuck a few shapes of my own, I must of looked awesome i'm sure although I dont remember.
My next memory is of my friend and his wife finding me half naked outside my room in the Excalibur with a black tarry substance over my naked torso.  It was 5am and they were delivering my Birthday card before they headed off to the Canyon.  Apparently I was mumbling something about "Picklepockles" or something.
Anyway, I slept for 24 hours straight missing my entire Birthday.  When I did wake up early the next day, I knew immediately what had happened.  All my belongings had been stolen.  My wallet with a few hundred $$$, my ring and my disposable camera.  I was most upset about my camera as we were having a competition who could get pictured with the hottest girls on these little disposable camera and I must have been winning after a shot a few days earlier with a young German chick sat around the pool.

I had met the same fate as the Hangover Boys and felt like crap.   Although I had not lost any teeth and I was not being chased around town by Mike Tyson.



Damn Roofies.  It took another 48 hours for the physical effects to wear off.  I reported it to the local cops but they were not interested.  They thought I had been stung by a hooker and showed no interest at all.  I told them how it went down and knew how easy it would be to trace these offenders with all the eyes in the sky but I guess they see this all too often.

I spent the second week of my trip walking around hoping a face would jog my memory so I could kick the shit out of someone but it did not happen and I ended up flying home early with the hump.
I got home to a credit card bill of $800 or so which the punks had managed to run up in a 7Eleven store.  I guess they had a friend working there and bought a load of painkillers which they then sold on as other harder drugs.

Apart from the camera, I also had a seat in the front row of a Maroon5 concert at the MGM which I missed due to flying home early.  In truth it knocked my confidence a bit, I was alone the second week and I was a little unnerved which continued after I got home.  Suffice to say it was soon all forgotten as I flew back to Vegas at the end of that year to get some of my money back that Vegas owed me.

Anyways, along with my slow week in poker it has also been a slow start to  TAPP.

I put out these feelers during the week

To Negreanu

@RealKidPoker Any chance of having my $5 back, my kids are a bit hungry right now.

“@RealKidPoker: If you are at PCA at 11am. I'm doing a Q & A, ask me ANYTHING you want. Literally nothing is off limits!”                                                Where's my $5?

“@RealKidPoker: Virtually every reply included "beautiful women and partying." Literally the only pro provided lol.                                                                        New you were gay.

@RealKidPoker I think you won't win much this year. Even @themouthmatusow will win more than u this year. I think u may have lost it. Sorry

To Doyle

@TexDolly I would like to race you around the Rio. You on scooter me in a sumo suit. Raise some $$ for starving kids. What do u think?

@TexDolly Are u playing in WSOP this year. Also have u ever thought about writing a poker strategy book, reckon I could learn stuff from u.

TO JRB

@BrokeLivingJRB Could your backer not have got you in the cockpit or on Airforce One to make you more comfy.

@BrokeLivingJRB You suck so bad, if you need some coaching come see me.

@BrokeLivingJRB What time is it over there is Oz? Did u lose any of your BR while you were asleep. You seem to lose it whatever you do.

@BrokeLivingJRB Do you have to do sexual favours for your Backer? all i can think of.

Sadly I have to report, NO REACTION from these guys.  I guess they will earn some minus points but I will be stepping it up in the next couple of weeks and nobody will be off the radar from now on.  If I see an opportunity to TAPP, I'll grab it and take a pop.